Evil Debt - What's New Archive (January, 2005)

What's New > January, 2005 What's New Archive

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

We hate consumer debt. We hate it so much we will fight it, one consumer at a time, until we can reach a kinder, gentler era where being debt free is synonymous (rhymes with anonymous) with ... with ... breathing?

Breathing free. You know what else we hate? We hate Christmas! We hate Christmas oh-so-very-much. Why do we hate this holiday so much? Cause its crud. And so many have to turn to the debt free services after succumbing to the pressure of being forced unwillingly into buying overpriced, thoughtless, impractical gifts for loved ones as well as people who secretly irritate us. What kind of forced cheer is this anyway? Mayhem, we tell you.

Are you a casualty of Christmas? Are you going to have to take out a second mortgage, rely on the debt consolidation services? Well, at least there won't be anything forced or unnatural about that relationship. You can crunch numbers with an experienced debt services counselor who will provide you with the insight and guidance you presumably need to get out of the tight spot. And - almost positively, you can count on your debt consolidation expert to commiserate with you over the evils of Christmas.

An overweight (*obese), blood-vessel-engorged (*alcoholic) fat bastard, dressed in rupturing red and mangy white trimming barrels his ass down your chimney, loots your cookies and milk, leaves you a bunch of shite you'll toss somewhere in a heap in the back of the closet - only to take out - dusty and moldy - and barely make a quarter from at the annual block yard sale - where people come to look at your junk and laugh silently at the poverty and squalor you evidently live in. Kidding. Or not? Get it straight once and for all and get the real pros, the mavericks of debt relief on your side: Florida debt consolidation specialists.

Otherwise, come on back and have ten times the fun during the next Evil Debt update.